Photo Diary: November

1. Epic Swimming with T. E.

2. Random Saturday with Babyyyyyyy

3. F4B Retreat

4. San Carlos Fiesta

 5. Birthday Celeb

6. Date with Bestfriend nd Babies!

7. One Crazy Wednesday with Babies nd Gelo

GIRLFRIENDS

Who would've thought that we were once a complete stranger before? Where everything we do, anything I do, and anything they do, completely ruins our day. Yes, we were once a bitch in each others' lives.

Bitch in some ways that we fake our smiles when the fvcking moment made us cross our ways. When we unexpectedly found out that we were going to the same classes. When their laughs just really made me feel irritated. When they instantaneously pisses off my day, my week, my life.

I never thought these bitches are going to be the best girlfriends I would ever have. It's as true as it is that a stranger can be your best friends and and just as easy as how your bestfriend could turn out to be your enemy. Yes, I believe this is fate. FATE in God's will.

I don't exactly know what particular thing it was which really drive us to what stage we are now. I mean, what happened? Whyarewereallythisclose? I guess, being on the same situation, makes us understand each other. And hey, am I not just lucky that even though they aren't experiencing the same situation as mine, they still understand me? Believe me, they do.

 Girls, I may not have the chance to tell you everyday that I love you, but promise I really do. From the very bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for being with me in times I got myself into trouble. For the willing-to-understand self in all situations, for not judging me, and just for being by my side. True friend does exists and I prove them right with you.

I promise to protect you the way I protected him, and I promise to be with your sides just when you were with me when I needed you most. I love you to every bits and pieces!

PhotoDiary: September

1. GradPic

2. Finance Lecture Series

3. Reunited with highschool bestfriends

4. A day with girlfriends

5. Shopping date with Bebe

6. Random

A woman of strength.

I don't know how to start all this since you were the one who gave me this idea of writing something about us. Frankly, I don't exactly know what to say. I've been blank for a couple of days and every word I feel like saying don't just come out. Plus I can't focus since these tears just keep from falling. I don't know why, and I fvcking hate myself for crying from time to time for four consecutive days.

Thank you. I guess that would be the only thing I would never get tired telling you. I have so much to be thankful. Being your friend and having you in my life is just one amazing blessing. Baby, THANK YOU.. SO MUCH.. For just being there. For just being around. And for staying.

Thank you for understanding all versions of me. From being the childish to the matured one, my crazy side, my stupid ideas, and my silly self. We've been three years friends and I could somehow say that you know me well than any of my other friends. If I say I'm okay, I know you wouldn't still believe me because you know I'm not. When I say I'm not hurt, you would always ask if I need someone to cry on or would just offer a hanky to at least make me feel alright. When I fake my smile, you would hug me the moment you know tears will come out. When everyone thinks I always come off strong, you know how I am broken inside. You know every piece of me, every piece I am trying to hide. 

Thank you. For not getting tired of hearing my stories over and over again. For not getting tired of giving advises of what I should do and what I shouldn't. For not making me worry and hesitate to tell you my problems, because I know whatever the situation is, whether I'm at fault or not, you'll understand me anyway. For repeating warnings I should've learned from the start. For all the moments I spent with you for all those wouldn't cost any wealth in the world. And most of all, for not only being my friend, but also for being my sister/my phonepal buddy/ my adviser/ my life-to-death friend.

How am I suppose to give back at least half of what you have given me? You've given me so much strength and courage in times I don't know where to stand in life. You've given me all uplifting words to cheer me up every moment I don't understand His plans for me. I don't know how dear. All you've given me are all too much of what I asked. 

Don't leave. I can't afford to lose you. You know how it breaks my heart to be left by someone so important. And I have my heart broken so many times by being left. And right now, my heart is still broken to pieces. Please stay. Please. 

I can't promise you anything, because since the day I was left by someone who told me he wouldn't, I hate promises. But one thing is for sure, time wouldn't allow us to be together every minute of our lives, but I would always be in your heart. Things would change sooner or later, but where you stand in my life would never ever be. 

PS: I would never be a woman of strength if not because of them, Him, and You.

                                

  

Found this picture three months ago. Remember this day? When we went together to the church and had dinner. Never thought in three months time, everything would make a complete turn around. Ay, how fast things changed. I miss the day, and the person we were with. 

Beyond Blessed.

Sometimes, the greatest things in your life will appear at one of your worst days, so let the universe guide you, stop whining and accept what is happening and what is about to come and don't look back. Because sometimes lies a much bigger picture is a picture that may change your life forever.

How true is it that when someone leaves, another comes? How true that when a window has closed, a door will open? And how true would it be that if you lose someone, there is a replacement of a better one?

Whether it may be true or not, I find myself not to care at all. Why would I wait for a replacement of what has been gone when everyone who has never left is actually far way better than those who did? Thank God. Thank God for giving me wonderful persons to count on.

How can I thank God enough for giving me such true friends who would never ever leave me broken? True friends who would stick by my side no matter what. I am beyond blessed for giving me the most crazy yet wonderful and amazing friends.

Go and look around. Look of what you have and not what you are missing. You'll then find that you are blessed. Beyond what you think.

Sarcasm

Lord, I've been wanting to tell you two things. Thank you and sorry. Thank you, for being just by my side when I needed you most. For giving me a lot of true friends to count on. For giving me reasons to smile despite the situation I am in. For letting me able to forgive. For the strength, for the guidance, for the answered prayers and for all that I should be thankful for. Thank you for making things easier. It's been a way too hard to accept things, to accept the reality that things changed and so as people. You know how I tried not to change, to just stay the same. But Lord, I've been giving all of me, all I can give, and that I almost forgot to leave a piece for myself. I never wanted to change, never. 

I don't know po if this is way better than before.  But thank you because we're fine. We're good. It's just that I don't know if I would be able to trust that much again. Help me regain the trust I lost for him. I don't know if I could still. He might not demand for trust anyway. You know how I am as a bestfriend to him. You know Lord every bit of me that I gave up just for my bestfriend. You know how hard I went through to accept every word people have to say about me. That I'm stupid. And all negative things I have to take. Yes, I am, in a way. I was, rather. They said I was so stupid for giving all of me and for forgiving all the time. Because I care for my bestfriend. I care too much. Isn't it enough reason to make them realize why I always forgive? 

But y'know, sometimes you just have to surrender. Sometimes you just get tired of being left all the time. Being left over and over again. I could take that, even for a million times. But my heart cannot. My heart says she's too damn tired. And she needs a full rest.

Sorry. Sorry Lord for breaking my promise that I would have the longest patience in the world. Sorry for giving up. Sorry if I can't be what I was before. Sorry if his bestfriend changed. Sorry if I changed, because he was the first one to be. Sorry if I won't be the same anymore. :| I never want to. 

He would be my forever bestfriend. You know that. That's a promise I would never ever break. I couldn't take to know that he'll be in danger, so please, save him. Whatever it is that he is going through, give him strength. And please tell him I'm just on his side. Even we feel like we're physically and emotionally miles away.

I would never stop asking you to guide him all the time. To remind him all the do's and don'ts. To be a good man. To make him realize that there a lots of people who value his presence, and that I would always be one of them.

If you think I'm lying, you're wrong. But in some ways, what you think could be right. I still care. I still care for that one person who doesn't. I still care for my bestfriend. I just want to appear like I don't. I'm saving a little for myself. I'm shielding myself in case I would be left again.

Lord, kindly go directly through my heart, you'll know what more it has to say. One more thing, please do heal whatever has been broken. 

Words left unsaid

Lord, may gusto po akong ikwento. May gusto akong sabihin. Alam nyo po, meron po akong bestfriend. Masaya kami palagi pag magkasama. Yung parang wala naman talagang dapat ikasaya, pero masaya. Yung ang dami nyo ng pinagdaanan, ang dami nyo na din nalampasan. Yung isang tawag mo lang sa kanya, andyan na sya. Yung alam mo na may nagkecare sayo. Yung alam nyong sa pabuti lagi yung hinahangad nyo sa isa't- isa. Yung ayaw ka nyang mapapasama, mapapahamak. Yun. Yun po ako bilang bestfriend sa kanya.

Yung akala nyo po na meron ka laging matatawag na bestfriend? Akala lang po pala yun, Lord. Msyado po kasi syang mabilis magbago. Mabilis syang kumalimot sa lahat. Don't get me wrong po. Masaya ako kung anong nagpapasaya sa kanya ngayon. Nakakatuwa. Pero po bakit ganon? Nalimutan nya na may bestfriend sya, tulad ng dati. Ganon na po yata yung rule ngayon. Yung pag masaya ka na, yung mga kaibigan mo, kakalimutan mo na. Yun e. Yun po yung masakit. Pero okay lang po, basta importante naman e masaya na sya. Malakas na. Kayo na po ang bahala sa kanya.

Sana lang kaya ko pong paulit ulit tanggapin yung ganito. Pero hindi na po yata. Hindi na po yata talaga. Ilang beses ng nakalimot sa pinagsamahan namin yun bestfriend ko. Ilang beses na po nya akong iniwan at binalewala, na sakin, siya yung inuuna ko sa lahat, kasi nga bestfriend dba? Ilang beses na po. Ilang beses nadin po akong napapagod.

Pasabi naman po sa kanya, salamat. Wala na po kasing pagkakataon para masabi ko pa yun e. Salamat sa lahat lahat. Pasabi din na I would always look back to the memories we both shared, even until we reach the point of forgetting what bestfriend is. Pasabi na po din sorry. Kasi msyado siguro akong nakakasakal. Pero para din naman po sa ikabubuti nya yun e. Alam ko pong pag pinagbabawalan din nya ako, para din yun sa ikabubuti ko. Kaya sinusunod ko po. Alam nyo po nung nagswimming kami, ayaw nya na nakashorts ako. Susundin ko na sana yun kung ndi lang sya pumayag nun huli. May pajama po ako sa bag ko :) Nung sinabi nya na wag ako uminom, nagpanggap po ako sa mga kaibigan ko na pagod ako, para tututlog nalang ako. Para hindi ako makakainom. Para nman din kasi sa ikabubuti ko yun di po ba? Pasalamat nga ako na may bestfriend ako na magpapaalala skin nun, na magbabawal sakin. Ayoko lang din pong mapapahamak sya. Kaya nilalayo ko sya pedeng mangyari na pagsisihan nya sa huli. Pero yun nga po, dun yata masaya yun bestfriend ko. Hayaan nalang po siguro natin. Sana lang po, hanggang huli, samahan sya nila. Sana hindi hanggang kasiyahan lang. Gusto ko  po sana na kapag kailangan nya ng tulong, may matatakbuhan pa din syang kaibigan. Sana po sila yun. Kasi siguro, kung dati, isa ako sa kanila, ngayon po baka hindi na. 

Iparating mo rin nga po pala na hindi ako galit sa kanya. Masaya ako sa kinalalagyan nya ngayon at sana sya din po. Pasabi din na po magiingat sya palagi. Kayo na po ang bahala magpaalala ng mga bawal sa kanya. Sabihin nyo po na wag masyado pakasagad sa pagbabasketball. Baka mapaano po kasi yun tuhod nya. May sumasakit na po kasi sa tuhod nya e. Pagilingin nyo na nga po. Please po. Pasabi din po na wag sya iinom ng soft drinks. Makakasama po yun sa kalusugan nya. Ipaalala nyo po na kumain lagi sya sa oras para hindi na po sumasakit yung tyan nya. Tska po wag po sya papaulan, para hindi po sya mgkakasakit. At isa pa po, pakipaalala po sa knya na lagi po sya papakabait. Kasi yung dati po nyang bestfriend, nagaalala po palagi kung okay ba sya.  Kayo na pong bahala na magsabi sa knya lahat ng ginagawa ko dati, or kung pede po, ihanap nyo po sya ng tao na laging mgpapaalala nito sa knya, para assured po ako na okay sya.

Lord, ang hina ko po. Hindi po pala ako ganun kalakas tulad ng inaakala ko. Ayaw ko po sana kasing magkagalit kami. Kasi gusto ko po sana syang alagaan, bilang bestfriend nya. Pero Lord, hindi po yata ako yung dapat mgpaalala sa knya ng lahat ng tama sa mali. Ipinauubaya ko na po sa inyo lahat. Yung lahat po ng hindi ko nasabi, kayo na po magparating sa kanya lahat lahat. Kayo na din po ang bahalang ingatan sya. Sana din po pasayahin nyo sya. Bigyan nyo po sya ng lakas pag mahina sya, tska bigyan nyo din po sya ng kaibigan na mgiging andyan pag kailangan nya ng tulong, pag may problema syang mabigat. Kayo na po ang bahala kay Bespren. Kayo na po ang bahala dun sa Bespren ko. 

Sabi ko nga po sa inyo nung ngusap tayo nung isang araw, kahit ganito po ang nangyari, ayaw ko parin po mapapasama sya. Sana po dun nyo sya dalhin sa makakabuti sa knya. Wala nman po akong hinangad kundi mapabuti sya e. Siguro, hindi lang nya nauunawaan yun. Pero sana in time, maisip nya na gusto ko lang syang mapabuti. 

Salamat po Lord! Salamat po. Ang saya ko po ngayon na kayo na po yung gagawa ng paraan para masabi lahat ng mga hindi ko nasabi. Isang hiling lang po. Pede po bang sabihin nyo din na magiging masaya ako kung hindi nya huhubadin yun bracelet na bigay ko? Yun lang po kasi yung magiging assurance ko na safe sya kahit san sya pumunta. 

A friend ask me nga po pala. Sabi nya, paano kung madaanan mo sya sa tabi naglalakad, tumatakbo kasi umuulan, anong ggwin mo? Sabi ko po, titigilan ko sya. Hindi ako ganun kasama para lampasan sya. Hello, bestfriend ko yun.